"WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY"
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday. I sat down for breakfast with
my family, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday!"
and probably have a present for me.
As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone
happy birthday. I thought, well, that's just great . . . maybe the
children will remember.
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good
morning, boss, happy birthday!" And I felt a little better that someone
I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door
and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your
birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "That's the greatest thing I've heard all day . Let's go!"
We went to a private little place. We had a few martinis and
enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You
know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the
office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment"
After arriving at her apartment, she said, "Boss, if you don't
mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more
"Sure!" I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about five minutes, she came
out carrying a huge birthday cake followed by my wife, my children
and a dozen of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And I just sat there.
On the couch.