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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-21-2005, 05:06 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 363
 
Joke of the Day

Stolen from R6messagenet


Husband Superstore
Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to
choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to
choose a man from that floor, if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back
down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find a husband each....

First floor - The door had a sign saying, - "These men have jobs and love kids."

The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they went. Second floor - The sign read, - "These men
have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."

"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor - This sign read - "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the house
work."

"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went..
Fourth floor - This door had a sign saying - "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."

"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor - The sign on that door said, - "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please! The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-21-2005, 08:58 PM
 
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-22-2005, 03:16 AM
 
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:laugh
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-22-2005, 10:59 PM
 
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I recall my first time with a condom....I was 16 or so. I went in to
buy
a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter
and, she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and
asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No." So she
unwrapped the package, took one out, and slipped over her thumb. She
cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently
still
looked confused so, she looked all around the store. It was empty. She
said, "Just a minute, " and walked to the door and locked it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse,
and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do
these excite you?" Well, I was SO dumb-struck that all I could do was
nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was
slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties, and laid
down on a desk. "Well, come on, " she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could
no
longer hold back and..........POW, I was done within a few minutes. She
looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" I said, "I
sure
did, " and held up my thumb to show her.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-22-2005, 11:00 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,906
 
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
>She
>put an ad in the local paper that read:
>"HUSBAND WANTED"
>MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
>MUST NOT BEAT ME,
>MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
>MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
>ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
>
>On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
>opened
>the door to see a gray-haired gentleman in a wheelchair. He had no
arms or
>legs.
>
>The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are
>you?
>Just look at you....you have no legs!"
>
>The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!" She
>snorted." You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled,
>"Nor can I beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are
>you still good in bed?"
>
>With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and
>said......
>
>"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-22-2005, 11:06 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,906
 
This is about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and
>> some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make
>> a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
>>
>> A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One
>> day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the
>> empty lot.
>>
>> The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest
>> in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
>> observing the workers.
>>
>> Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough,
>> more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
>> with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch
>> breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her
>> feel important.
>>
>> At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay
>> envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this
>> home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of
>> admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she
>> had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
>>
>> When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and
>> asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check
>> at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked
>> last week with the crew building the house next door to us." "My
>> goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on
>> the house again this week, too?"
>>
>> The little girl replied, "I will if those bastards at Home Depot
>> ever get off their ass and deliver the damned sheet rock."
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