It' was 5am my time when you posted this foo... lol
Here are a few jokes from the classic "Rodney Dangerfield"
> 1. I was so poor growing up. if I wasn't a boy I'd have had nothing
> to play with.
> 2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's
> I went over. Nobody was home.
> 3. My girlfriend always wants to talk to me during sex. Just the other
> she called me from a hotel.
> 4. One day I came home early from work. I saw a guy jogging naked. I said
> the guy: "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said: "Because you came
> home early."
> 5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning. put a shirt on and a
> fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to
> go to the bathroom.
> 6. I was such an ugly kid. when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept
> covering me up.
> 7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a
> 8. I was an ugly baby. my mother never breast fed me. She told me she
> only liked me as a friend.
> 9. I'm so ugly. my father carried around a picture of the kid who came
> his wallet.
> 10. When I was born the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my
> father: "I'm sorry. We did everything we could but he pulled through."
> 11. I'm so ugly. my mother had morning sickness. AFTER I was born.
> 12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
> finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
> 13. Once when I was lost I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find
> parents. I said: "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said: "I don't
> know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
> 14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
> 15. I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big
> 16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I
> in the mirror. I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said:
> don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
> 17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
> My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
> 18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him: "How can I get my kite
> the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
> 19. Some dog I've got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves
> pyramid. His favourite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper
> times - three of those times I was reading it.
> 20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy for birth control.
> 21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in
> electric chair.
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