Anything Goes Self explanatory forum name... (No NWS)

 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:09 AM Thread Starter
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women vs men

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:14 AM
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Hahahahahahaha, i've read that before :
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MV-999R
Hahahahahahaha, i've read that before :

WHAT, R U trying to say that it wasnt a true story? :corn
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:20 AM
 
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classic :
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jump1979man
Quote:
Originally Posted by MV-999R
Hahahahahahaha, i've read that before :

WHAT, R U trying to say that it wasnt a true story? :corn
It's full of truth, but it's not :
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ando
classic :
Hell yeah I need to send that to my wife.. She shops like there's no tomorrow. :corn
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:38 AM
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:laugh Too true sadly


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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:39 AM
 
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that rocks LMFAO
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 11:48 AM
 
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Thats why I said it before.... a bitch is a bitch is a bitch



Everyone here can relate to that shit.!
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 12:00 PM
 
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A dick is a dick is a dick is a dick making up for what he lacks.

I love that little story. I really do. That bitch deserves it.
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 01:26 PM
 
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But still funny... :
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-27-2005, 05:13 PM
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classic story..



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"I don't like your jerk off name, I don't like your jerk off face, I don't like your jerk off behavior, and I don't like you...... jerk off!"
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