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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-13-2005, 01:20 PM Thread Starter
it's meeting not meating
 
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Baby photographer...

.....i have the same effect on women.......


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife good bye and said,"Well I'm off now. The man should be
here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door- to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to....."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in ,embarrassed,
"I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer."Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bath-tub, one in the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor
is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well Ma'am none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try
several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and
out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that ."

"Don't I know it,"said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby
pictures, "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God! "Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins tu! rned out exceptionally well-when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?"asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding round four or five deep to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?"said Mrs. Smith ,her eyes wide open with amazement.

"Yes",the photographer replied."And for more than three hours, too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling -I could hardly concentrate, and
when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally ,when the squirrels
began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward ."Do you mean they actually chewed on your ,um...
equipment?"

"It's true Ma'am, yes. Well, if you are, ready, I'll set up my tripod and we
can get to work right away."

"Tripod?" exclaimed Mrs. Smith.

"Oh yes Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
heavy to be held in the hand very long."

With that Mrs. Smith fainted.

:gun ......I touch myself

"To dare is to dream. To fear is to fail. Live life in the now, for tomorrow may never come."
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-13-2005, 01:25 PM
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That made me laugh. Good one.


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