Anything Goes Self explanatory forum name... (No NWS)

 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-28-2006, 01:31 PM Thread Starter
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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogieman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Before he forgot to visit Chuck Norris' house, Santa Claus was real.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris flew around the world in a hot air balloon in 3 days, proving that records are simply a list of things Chuck Norris has never attempted.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

:laugh :laugh


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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-28-2006, 06:05 PM
 
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-28-2006, 07:10 PM
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WTF does any of that mean anyway? Gdamn.........Chuck Norris fell off his infomercial excercise P.O.S. equipment and accidently hit Christie Brinkley right in the ass, twice........


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If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-28-2006, 07:35 PM
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try www.chucknorrisfacts.com for some more...
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-28-2006, 07:56 PM
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I aint doin' it........


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If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-31-2006, 02:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LarsR1
WTF does any of that mean anyway? Gdamn.........Chuck Norris fell off his infomercial excercise P.O.S. equipment and accidently hit Christie Brinkley right in the ass, twice........
Ide hit her in the ass 3 times!
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-31-2006, 07:00 PM
no1stunner
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Chuck Rules!ped
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