Anything Goes Self explanatory forum name... (No NWS)

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 05:06 AM Thread Starter
Rookie again
 
LarsR1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: NW Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,071
 
Hangover Ratings

Might be old or a repost but I thought it was funny.


One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively
well. However, you are parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this
way. For some reason, you are craving a steak and fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only
increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity
pancake from the 3:00 a.m. Waffle House excursion. There is some definite
havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the
flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life
would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy
reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a
diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or you
might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has
given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that
can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face (for the
ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding bumper cars).
Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your
sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five dumps you take
during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the
bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the
employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every
pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners
of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of
the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so
your tongue is suffocating you. Any attempt to defecate results in a
fire-hose-like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater'
thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the
toilet water all over your @$$. You are thinking that Death might be better
that this.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Indubitably
2. Innovative
3. Preliminary
4. Proliferation
5. Cinnamon


THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
5. Oh no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
LarsR1 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 06:05 AM
Member
 
dzglaser21's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 51
 
:laugh :laugh :laugh
dzglaser21 is offline  
post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 06:08 AM
Dirt Rider :)
 
Storm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Warsaw, POLAND
Posts: 1,755
 
had all from one star to five star NICE post
Storm is offline  
post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 06:11 AM
Senior Member
 
DRAGULA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mineral VA. If you can find it collect your $200 AND PASS GO
Posts: 1,319
 
I resemle that remark. hic burp hic
DRAGULA is offline  
post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 08:07 AM
7c Forever
 
Junior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: the business end of a CAD station.
Posts: 9,879
  
I've had all of 'em, but ** is by far the most common.

not that I normally have much more mental capacity than a staplegun, but it's particularily apparent when I'm hungover.

HAIL TO THE KING!!

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Junior is offline  
post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 09:08 AM
it's meeting not meating
 
OldscholVett&R1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: toledo
Posts: 2,121
 
Send a message via AIM to OldscholVett&R1
:laugh :laugh :laugh ....that was good...i think we have all experienced those before....i don't really get hangovers any more..maybe its because i really don't drink anymore....

:gun ......I touch myself

"To dare is to dream. To fear is to fail. Live life in the now, for tomorrow may never come."
OldscholVett&R1 is offline  
post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 11:49 AM
`beer?
 
walker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 2,912
 
Send a message via MSN to walker Send a message via Yahoo to walker
Quote:
Originally Posted by OldscholVett&R1
:laugh :laugh :laugh ....that was good...i think we have all experienced those before....i don't really get hangovers any more..maybe its because i really don't drink anymore....
pansy.. im working on atleast a two star right now.. on a thursday. :O
walker is offline  
post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 12:29 PM
it's meeting not meating
 
OldscholVett&R1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: toledo
Posts: 2,121
 
Send a message via AIM to OldscholVett&R1
Quote:
Originally Posted by walkerk
pansy.. im working on atleast a two star right now.. on a thursday. :O

the less i drink the more i can ride...priorities man.....:jimmie

:gun ......I touch myself

"To dare is to dream. To fear is to fail. Live life in the now, for tomorrow may never come."
OldscholVett&R1 is offline  
post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 05:30 PM
phil-osepher
 
kneedragger77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: El Mundo
Posts: 3,699
 
I've had a few 4 and 5 stars. After the 5 stars is when I always swear off drinking for good....


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
kneedragger77 is offline  
post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-18-2006, 08:48 PM
Random Sample
 
Statik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beyond Imagination
Posts: 1,816
 
That's good.

I think I average *** every time I go out these days
Statik is offline  
post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-19-2006, 08:07 AM
Senior Member
 
DRAGULA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mineral VA. If you can find it collect your $200 AND PASS GO
Posts: 1,319
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kneedragger77
I've had a few 4 and 5 stars. After the 5 stars is when I always swear off drinking for good....
Till the next weekend of party
DRAGULA is offline  
post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-20-2006, 11:17 AM
Future Lottery Winner
 
Belgium's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Beer ?
Posts: 4,237
 
Send a message via MSN to Belgium
Working on a **** right now


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Belgium is offline  
post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-20-2006, 11:56 AM
Ask the Chief
 
Firehawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Right here.
Posts: 10,687
   
uuuggg....i'm working on a three right now...

i'm in vegas for a couple of days....came to hang with my boys.

mother in law is staying at the house so all is good.

had to make it out here for our last hurrah


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Firehawk is offline  
post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-22-2006, 03:37 AM
7c Forever
 
Junior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: the business end of a CAD station.
Posts: 9,879
  
I'm gonna be hurting in the morning, I'll get back to you then.

HAIL TO THE KING!!

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Junior is offline  
post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 05-22-2006, 12:02 PM
7c Forever
 
Junior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: the business end of a CAD station.
Posts: 9,879
  
***


owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

HAIL TO THE KING!!

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Junior is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Sport Bike Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome