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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-04-2006, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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Sexual Urges

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT!?"

I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-04-2006, 03:52 PM
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omg, that is funny..............


this wasn't you was it? lol



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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-04-2006, 03:58 PM Thread Starter
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No, but being married for 8 years + child I do get the cold shoulder routine quiet a bit.
Plus she has her own credit cards for shopping.


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this wasn't you was it? lol


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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-04-2006, 07:34 PM
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-04-2006, 07:40 PM
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My wife isn't much of a shopper, but I almost wish she was so I could try that on her.


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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 01:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biga
Plus she has her own credit cards for shopping.
Is it a secondary card from an account under your name? :


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¤ più forte non si può . WLF viva la figa
¤ In 2006 I lost because of bad luck; I still won the most races and was the fastest on track for most of the time... Last year I was sorry that
after so many successful years, some people thought Valentino was finished and Casey was the new Valentino. ~ The Doctor '08
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 01:41 AM
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Funny but :r1budha :r1budha
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 04:46 AM
it's meeting not meating
 
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i am not gonna lie...i saw the title of the thread and who posted it and i was worried

:gun ......I touch myself

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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 09:51 AM
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hahaha... ya I've heard that one before..



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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 11:06 AM
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:r1budha :r1budha :r1budha But still funny as shit!


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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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Why??? I'm not Vale


Quote:
Originally Posted by OldscholVett&R1
i am not gonna lie...i saw the title of the thread and who posted it and i was worried



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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 11:33 AM
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-05-2006, 08:15 PM
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Ok Soapbox time.

Not all women are satisfied by a dickens cider. say it a few times and you wil get it.

Most women are just satisfied by just cuddeling and spending time with her man. But if you are one of thoes guys that gives their girl everything(clothes rings etc.) and not the emotional stuff you will come home and find her in bed with the pool boy cause all they want is the Dickens cider. There is a balance of both and that is the key for a long lasting relationship.


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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-06-2006, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beavisr1
Ok Soapbox time.

Not all women are satisfied by a dickens cider. say it a few times and you wil get it.
sounds like something someone with a small p p would say


love the joke!
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-06-2006, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beavisr1
Ok Soapbox time.

Not all women are satisfied by a dickens cider. say it a few times and you wil get it.

Most women are just satisfied by just cuddeling and spending time with her man. But if you are one of thoes guys that gives their girl everything(clothes rings etc.) and not the emotional stuff you will come home and find her in bed with the pool boy cause all they want is the Dickens cider. There is a balance of both and that is the key for a long lasting relationship.
is that what your wife said was the cause.....

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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-06-2006, 07:51 PM
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LMAO Wheres the OWNED icon???

2005 Yamaha R6, 2007 KTM 450 SMR, 05 Yamaha TTR50, 04 Honda NSR125

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