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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 08:47 PM Thread Starter
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Talking Some laughs for today

Belfast pub


Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy... "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

_____________________________________

Jewish genie





An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert
without finding a source of water. It got so bad that
his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the
sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath,
when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of
the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand,
and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle.
It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in
the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a
genie . BUT this was no ordinary genie. This genie
appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black
alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzies.

"Vell kid," said the genie, "you know how it voiks.
You got three vishes."

"I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. "I'm not
going to trust a Jewish genie!"

"Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a
gonner anyvay!"

The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided
that the genie was right. "Okay, I wish I were in a
lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink."

** * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he
had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine
and platters of delicacies.

"Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?"

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest
dreams."

** * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

"Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better should
make it a good vone!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, "I
wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will
always need and want me !"

** * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * *

He was turned into a tampon.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie,
there's going to be strings attached.



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ONCE YOU'VE HAD ASIAN, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH CAUCASIAN
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OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL ALWAYS OVERCOME YOUTH AND ENTHUSIASM
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 09:03 PM
don't read this
 
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is there a reason all your posts have specific black text instead of default to the skin??



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"I don't like your jerk off name, I don't like your jerk off face, I don't like your jerk off behavior, and I don't like you...... jerk off!"
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 09:10 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rinn View Post
is there a reason all your posts have specific black text instead of default to the skin??
I'm cutting & pasting


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ONCE YOU'VE HAD ASIAN, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH CAUCASIAN
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OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL ALWAYS OVERCOME YOUTH AND ENTHUSIASM
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 09:11 PM
don't read this
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warp Racer View Post
I'm cutting & pasting

ahh gotcha.. :



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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-14-2006, 11:25 PM
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watchout because you may offend some GENIES!


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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-16-2006, 09:37 AM
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lol VERY NICE hahaha


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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-16-2006, 11:45 AM
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I would :laugh if I could read this.




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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-16-2006, 12:30 PM
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Or if you weren't a retard
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