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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-26-2006, 07:57 PM Thread Starter
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Listen up, you pinkos.

This is an Ezine I subscribe to for a laugh once in awhile:

Dear Mental Orphans, I want to address a reader comment in detail because clearly this little bimbo is a naive ignoramus who needs some firm guidance now, before she becomes a God-damned hippie.

Dear Chadwick--I had an idea I'd like to run past you. I honestly think that, in the long run, kids would be better off without indivudual parents. There is a phrase I've heard "its takes a village to raise a child" that i think is rather true. If children were raised in heterogenous groups of adults, wouldn't it cut down on the next generations prejudices? Its said a person develops their personality in the first few years of life. If children were raised with several differnet religions to choose from, and exposed to different classes, races and lifestyles then that of their parents, wouldn't that make for a more fully educated and well rounded generation? Just a thought. --Katie

And it's a no good, stupid thought, Katie. What you're describing is Communism and the United States went to war in both Korea and Vietnam to stomp the ugly head of Communism into the rice paddies.

The phrase "It takes a village" comes from the title of a book written by Hillary Rode-hard Clinton. Lord knows where she or her ghost-writer stole it from. The idea is that a child's development and what they need to succeed are inextricably entwined with the society in which they live and how well it sustains and supports its families and individuals. In other words, it takes a village to raise a child. Does it? I always thought that it takes two parents who love their child enough to beat the fear of God into him or her as soon as the child is old enough to crawl. Statistics abound that children raised outside of a nuclear family, without a clear role-model in both a mother and a father, have higher incidences of illiteracy, crime and teenage parenthood by huge margins.

In his book "The Ten Things You Can't Say In America" author Larry Elder has this to say about the importance of the family unit and the damage caused by government subsidizing illegitimacy: "The government, and well-intentioned toe-tag liberals, arrogantly think assistance programs replace quality parenting. Raising a child means an hour-by-hour, day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, year-by year proposition. Quality parenting communicates appropriate behavior by word and by deed. When a child hears his father's alarm go off, then hears the old man grunting when he gets up and heads off to a job, the kid learns. He learns that sometimes people have to do things they don't want to do in order to achieve a goal. He learns that smiling all the time and always loving a job are unrealistic, but that mature people do things they have to do rather than only those things they enjoy doing.

" On the other hand, a summary of "It Takes A Village" on Amazon.com has this to say about the lessons Hillary Clinton teaches: "She [Clinton] doesn't believe that we should, or can, turn back the clock to "the good old days." False nostalgia for "family values" is no solution." So false nostalgia for family values is no solution. The Heritage Foundation did a study of families on welfare versus families eligible for welfare but refused to take it. Among other things the Heritage Report showed that children born out of wedlock were more likely to engage in early sexual activity and themselves have children out of wedlock. The report further stated, "Compared to children living with both biological parents in similar socioeconomic circumstances, children of never-married mothers exhibit 68 percent more antisocial behavior, 78 percent more peer conflict and 53 percent more dependency. Overall, children of never-married mothers have behavioral problems that score nearly three times higher than those of children raised in comparable intact families.

" But, let's not bother with cold, hard, irrefutable facts. Family values are just wasteful nostalgia. Katie, the bizarre scenario you described in your email is a fantasy. Communism didn't work on a national scale in the U.S.S.R. for their economy or their society. What makes you think it's going to work for the socialization of a child on a family scale? If you want greater tolerance of races, lifestyles and religions the answer is education, not the destruction of the family unit.

Get your head out of your ass.
I need a drink,
Chadwick

><><><><><> CHADWICK'S FAVORITE HISTORICAL INSULTS <><><><><>
"Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die." --Oscar Wilde
[This guy was a fag. What the fuck would he know?]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER'S COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Dear Chadwick, I was wondering if you get a lot of e-mail from prudish, puritanical old crones and geezers who are offended by all of the profanity in your newsletter. Those kind of people are stupider than a motherfucker. They continue to read your newsletter even though they find the curse words highly offensive. --Shirley
[Not generally, because those kinds of people won't subscribe to an ezine entitled "Up Yours!" Usually the title attracts retarded, horned-up bitches.]

Dear Mr. Chadwick, Thank you for printing an intelligent article for a change. That case is a perfect example of how lienency simply begets more heinous acts of delinquency. Our society better start dealing out appropriate sentences for crimes such as the one you wrote about or soon we will have a nation of Chadwicks! God help us all then! --Dave
[I would have just ordered both of them launched through a windshield at 40 miles-per-hour and called it a day.]

Check it out, last week's column was done buy a Bitch, LITERALLY, not the usual bitch we're accustomed to reading. Chadbitch, hmmm, has a ring to it!
[So does your skull when I hit it with a mallet.]

hey man - you are right on the money, if you ever need a right hand man call me. --Robert
[Call you for what? You keep your right hand to yourself, homo.]

Chadwick - Would you mind tying me to your bed spanking me and fucking me from behind like the slut i am? --Debra
[Mmmm...I don't want to get fleas in my bed. How about if I tie you to the bumper of my car and beat you with a pitching wedge? Would that do anything for you? I can stick my putter up your ass if that would help.]

Dear Chaffed Clit, I'm writing on behalf of the three long-time subscribers to this newsletter who do not smoke crack or sniff glue, who actually have a few brain cells left, and can remember something other than the 1-900 number for over-sexed pole smokers. If you're going to start with the re-runs, please let us know....gimme a break you fudge-packing, son of a whore. --M-Dawg from Cincinnati
[I think your estimate of three is generous.]

hey chad...ya know? savannah has a point. i have a gay friend who talks just about as shitty as you. it seems like your "wit" is only acquired in angry fags who think they're better than everyone else...you fit the bill. --joey
[A guy named joey with gay friends is questioning my sexual orientation....?]

TO SUBSCRIBE go to: http://af3.gophercentral.com/sub/upyours.html


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Last edited by Warp Racer; 09-02-2006 at 05:32 AM. Reason: Is it black text now..!?
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-26-2006, 08:35 PM
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That is way to much to read, next time please post pics for us simpletons.


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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-26-2006, 08:37 PM
 
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Clip notes? :1poke
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-26-2006, 08:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valerossi View Post
Clip notes? :1poke
That would be "Cliff notes" :1poke


alos Warp, changing the color of the text doesn't work too well with multi colored skins...



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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-26-2006, 08:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by R1LOVER View Post
That would be "Cliff notes" :1poke
lol :

Seriously, is it "clip notes" or "cliff notes"?

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&l...es&btnG=Search

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&l...es&btnG=Search

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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-26-2006, 10:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valerossi View Post
All I have heard of is "Cliff notes" but after looking at your links, I guess it's both lol

Quote:
cliffs 3 thumbs up
when a person begins telling you a story that drags on and on and is full of irrelevant details and not getting to the point... you can hurry things up by asking for "cliffs".

- derived from cliff notes
"Hey, hey, i dont want you life story just gimme the cliffs!"


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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 01:31 AM
 
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I thought asians bought Criff notes
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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I thought asians bought Criff notes
What's "Criff notes"? I couldn't find it with Google...
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 03:12 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valerossi View Post
What's "Criff notes"? I couldn't find it with Google...
what ale ru, a frucking ridiot


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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 07:23 AM
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is there going to be a quiz later?
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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tl;dr :r1biker
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 03:17 PM
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Too long:laugh


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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 03:25 PM
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cliff notes...


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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 04:04 PM
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Clip/Cliff WTF......... Still just too much reading. If I see more than a paragraph, my mind says F' It
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warp Racer View Post
what ale ru, a frucking ridiot
what ale ru, a frucking rhomo
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 07:52 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valerossi View Post
what ale ru, a frucking rhomo
You sound Kim Jong ill (spelling?) from Team America


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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 07:56 PM
 
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You sound Kim Jong ill (spelling?) from Team America
Dirka-dirka, burka-burka...
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 11:14 PM Thread Starter
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Dirka-dirka, burka-burka...
Dirka dirka dirka jihad mohammed :gun


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Last edited by Warp Racer; 08-27-2006 at 11:20 PM.
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 11:29 PM
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I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...



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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 11:44 PM
 
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I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...
Nice cliff notes...
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