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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-08-2006, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
FAsT BOYS
 
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stolen from another site

Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:52 pm Post subject: Dear Wife...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought this was funny, as it was posted from a friend on MySpace.com ....



TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......

================================================== ===


TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-09-2006, 02:39 PM
don't read this
 
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good one



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"I don't like your jerk off name, I don't like your jerk off face, I don't like your jerk off behavior, and I don't like you...... jerk off!"
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 09:11 AM
we meat again
 
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¤ più forte non si può . WLF viva la figa
¤ In 2006 I lost because of bad luck; I still won the most races and was the fastest on track for most of the time... Last year I was sorry that
after so many successful years, some people thought Valentino was finished and Casey was the new Valentino. ~ The Doctor '08
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 10:05 AM
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 01:08 PM
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 01:47 PM
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lol good one


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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-14-2006, 10:42 PM
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bahhh, if you are having that much trouble, you shouldn't be married.

HAIL TO THE KING!!

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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-14-2006, 10:43 PM
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-15-2006, 07:53 AM
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lol
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-15-2006, 12:21 PM
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Golden!


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