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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-27-2006, 01:11 PM Thread Starter
 
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Lines cops use on jackasses

Heres some useable funny lines floating around the net for our
friends in Law Enforcement . . .

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh . did I mention that I am
the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and
step in monkey shit."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets
as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."

and the best one . . . . ..

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't. Sign here."



__._,_.___
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-27-2006, 01:19 PM
 
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Heheh I have a friend thats a NARQ and he wears one of his undercover shirts to the gym. Its covered with Pot leaves then in really small print on the front says
"congratulations you just sold to a cop"
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-27-2006, 04:36 PM
don't read this
 
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Quote:
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"

hahaha...



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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-27-2006, 04:59 PM
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-27-2006, 06:18 PM
Rookie again
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by STONE View Post
Heheh I have a friend thats a NARQ and he wears one of his undercover shirts to the gym. Its covered with Pot leaves then in really small print on the front says
"congratulations you just sold to a cop"
He has to get me one, or at least find out where I can get one.....lol lol lol


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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-27-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LarsR1 View Post
He has to get me one, or at least find out where I can get one.....lol lol lol
I'll ask him if I see him. Very funny guy.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-28-2006, 10:58 PM
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I'm printing this out and taking it into work, lol


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