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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-16-2007, 11:09 PM Thread Starter
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dog food

I have three dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Costco and
standing in line at the check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again,
although I probably shouldnʼt because Iʼd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that Iʼd lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if Iʼd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because Iʼd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch... why else would I buy dog food??


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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 06:43 AM
 
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I love that one...
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 07:12 AM
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Maybe he was buying dog foof for a freind?


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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 07:13 AM
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lol thta is f'n great! never heard it


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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 07:22 AM
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I've heard it before though
From the Pink Panther

Guy asks Peter Sellers" Does your dog bite? No my dag doesn't bite. Guy pets dog and gets bitten.. I thought you said you dog doesn't "Bite" Sir that Is not my dag..

Peter Sellers was great


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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 04:41 PM
 
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 08:09 PM
 
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well, if you believe all the idiot liberal politicians, old people are forced to eat cat food because they cant afford to pay for their medications and food.



that was always my favorite......


because of course they always said that grandma was eating the canned cat food.

which is of course expensive as hell compared to a mcdonalds cheeseburger....

so its no wonder the sheeple thought it was a real diet.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-17-2007, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by No1stunner View Post
I have three dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Costco and
standing in line at the check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again,
although I probably shouldnʼt because Iʼd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that Iʼd lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if Iʼd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because Iʼd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch... why else would I buy dog food??


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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-18-2007, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by No1stunner View Post
I have three dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Costco and
standing in line at the check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again,
although I probably shouldnʼt because Iʼd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that Iʼd lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if Iʼd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because Iʼd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch... why else would I buy dog food??

Wow! I could never come up with something so witty Reminds me of when i tried to call my coworker after i had gotten home, i tried his cel then i called the work number. He answered and i asked if he was still at work
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-18-2007, 08:46 PM
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OMG My daughter eats dog food? why I I guess its bite-size and she eats a-lot of it...........


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