Dirty joke (so everyone has prolly already heard it)
A woman comes home one day and hears a strange buzzing noise coming from her oldest daughters room. She climbs the stairs and peeks in to see what is happening only to glimpse her girl going after it with a vibrator!
Shocked she exclaims "what is going on here?" The daughter replied "Mom, I am 23, overweight, living at home, no man is going to want me. This is as close to sex as I am going to get."
Her mom resigned to the fact that she was right and let her be.
The next day the girl's father comes in from his job and hears a strange buzzing noise coming from the upstairs. He investigates and there is his daughter seeking solace from the battery powered appliance.
"What do you think your doing?!" he cried. "Dad, I am 23, unemployed, living at home, overweight and unattractive. This is probably as close to a relationship with a man as I will ever come!" replied the daughter.
The father resignedly agreed and left her to her sport.
Some days later the mother walks in the house and hears a buzzing noise coming from the living room. Knowing her daughter was out shopping she crept over to have a look and there was her husband, sitting on the couch, in front of the TV, with the viberator laying beside him.
"What in blazes are you doing?!" she exclaims. "What the heck does it look like woman? I am watching football with my son in law!"
Like lightning, only faster!