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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-05-2008, 03:23 AM Thread Starter
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The Marine Corps Version of Genesis 1:

Youguysare gonna lovethis one, especaill you Mark!

In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.
In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun,
and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with
many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths
of the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts
had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them
"squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved
creatures, He called them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made
their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn their
uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests. and all sorts of
shiny things that glittered. and devices that dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away.)
On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for
which he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys. But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not
until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.

But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. No, God was not happy!
So He thought about His labors, and in His divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war
against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training.
And He gave them evening and dress uniforms. sharp and stylish, handsome things. so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday
night and impress the hell out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at
the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course
of His labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for himself.
He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God satisfied Himself
in knowing that, well. not everybody can be a Marine!


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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-05-2008, 01:04 PM
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hahaha nice (but on the ninth day when he realizes he needed mother fuckers to get medevel on fuckers he created the AIRBORNE so we could jump down and serve up death from above while the marines were making pretty with their uniforms.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-05-2008, 06:17 PM
The answer? Simple: 42
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snair View Post
hahaha nice (but on the ninth day when he realizes he needed mother fuckers to get medevel on fuckers he created the AIRBORNE so we could jump down and serve up death from above while the marines were making pretty with their uniforms.

Keep dreaming...
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-05-2008, 06:44 PM
 
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hmmm.... I heard this couple years ago from an 03 while we were on guard duty . They read this stuff in Marine Corps boot camp Gunny?
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-06-2008, 06:54 AM
 
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LOL... That was pretty funny.... Though I have to disagree w/ the uniform as I don't wear any bell bottoms.... I wear painter's coveralls and sit my ass in front a computer and listen to everyone complain how tuff our job is *rolls eyes*
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-06-2008, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted by fjorn View Post
Keep dreaming...
haha
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-07-2008, 02:27 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HenryF View Post
hmmm.... I heard this couple years ago from an 03 while we were on guard duty . They read this stuff in Marine Corps boot camp Gunny?
HELL NO WE JUST BRAIN WASH THEM AND MAKE KILLERS!!!


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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-07-2008, 03:44 AM
The answer? Simple: 42
 
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I sent this to a guy I work with who did 11 years in the Army as a Ranger. Said he used to always put Marines down until he did a large amount of combat training exercises with them. Way he put it to me "I have a lot of respect for you Jarheads. Ya'll are nuts, but I've got a lot of respect for you guys."


How's that for a compliment?
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