Anything Goes Self explanatory forum name... (No NWS)

 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-17-2008, 07:34 PM Thread Starter
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Little Johnny...

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day waving his hand like crazy.

The teacher called on little Johnny.....

Little Johnny said, "Teacher I've got to piss"
the teacher replied, "now Johnny thats not polite, the correct word is urinate, now use it in a sentence and I'll let you go.

Little Johnny replied, "Urinate, but if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten"

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-17-2008, 11:36 PM
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I never get tired of the Little Rotten Johnny jokes.

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-18-2008, 06:13 AM
 
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-18-2008, 06:17 AM
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-19-2008, 10:56 PM
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 06:06 AM
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 09:48 PM
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Talking

Little Johnny is sitting in biology class, when his teacher states the fact that only humans stutter, and no other animal in the world does.

Johnny raises his hand and says. "You're wrong, Miss Finch!"

"Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?," replies the teacher.

"Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbors' Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went "fffff! fffff! fffff!", and before he could say "F*ck!", the dog ate him!"


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ONCE YOU'VE HAD ASIAN, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH CAUCASIAN
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 09:49 PM
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LITTLE JOHNNY: THE MATH WHIZ

Little Johnny returned from school and saying he got an 'F' in Math.

"Why?" asked his father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"

"But that's right!", said his dad, upset at the injustice.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the f*@#%! difference?" asked his dad.

Little Johnny replied "That's exactly what I said!"



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ONCE YOU'VE HAD ASIAN, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH CAUCASIAN
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 09:51 PM
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Talking Little Johnny: Nipped In The Bud

One day, the teacher asked her class 'What vegetable makes you cry?'

Little Johnny replies "a turnip".

"No Johnny' says the teacher, "Onions make you cry, not turnips"

"No Miss" Says Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the balls with a turnip?"


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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 09:52 PM
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Talking Little Johnny: The Wee Charmer

A door-to-door salesman comes-a-knocking and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other.
The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mommy home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the hell do you think?"


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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 09:54 PM
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Talking Little Johnny Eyes Cream

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.

"Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mommy?" he
asked.

"To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with
a tissue.

"What's the matter mommy?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"





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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 09:57 PM
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Talking Little Johnny And Proper Grammar

An oldy but a goody

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...

Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful!"




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ONCE YOU'VE HAD ASIAN, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH CAUCASIAN
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-20-2008, 10:05 PM
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Talking Little Johnny Tells The Truth

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Little Johnny replies, "A teacher."


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