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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 03:25 PM Thread Starter
jimmy crack corn
 
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grandpa and the IRS

Grandpa and the IRS.......

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to
the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed
up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain
by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says
Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go
ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars
that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a
bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The
auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he
takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a
witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of
your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and
never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
looks carefully and decides there's no way this old
guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
but although he strains mightily, he can't make the
stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that h e has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands.

Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when
Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he
bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come
in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be
happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!

David
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 05:59 PM
FAsT BOYS
 
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hahaha
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 08:38 PM
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that's awesome



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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 08:56 PM
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