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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-01-2009, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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BAD Jacko jokes

If you're only coming here to tell me how insensitive I am, how great MJ was and condemn me for posting these jokes stop right now and go look at another thread. IF however you aren't going to be offended by crude, callous and insensitive material read on and feel free to post up your own.



"How was Michael different from acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about 13."

"Due to Michael Jackson's death, his London dates have been canceled... They were James (age 11) and Thomas (age 9)."

"Jacko didn't even want that injection, until the doctor said he was gonna feel a small prick..."

"Q: Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15? A: Its when the big hand touches the little hand

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing."

Michael Jackson's attorney told him he could only date twenty-nine year olds. Michael replied, "That many?"

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Little boy blue!
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!!

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together?
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds!

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !!

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 boy scouts when it hit an iceberg and started to sink.
The captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "F*ck the children!"
Michael looked around eagerly and asked "Do we have time?"

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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-01-2009, 11:33 PM
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heh heh heh, I'll back with some soon....

"""NEWSFLASH!!!""" Gary Glitter has made a world record bid to buy Michael Jacksons computer!!!

Farrah Fawcett got to heaven and St. Peter gave her one wish. She said she hoped all the worlds children would be safe. 5 hours later Micheal Jackson died

BREAKING NEWS, Jacko aint dead, he's been found on a childrens ward having a stroke

As Micheal Jackson is 99.9% plastic he will not be cremated. He'll be melted down into lego blocks so kids can still play with him

Micheal Jackson's ghost has been seen haunting childrens wards all over the world. It appears that even in death he will continue to try and put the willies up small children

Jacko didn't want to be cremated, he wanted to be recycled into carrier bags so he could stay white, plastic and still be dangerous to children



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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 06:26 AM
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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 07:03 AM
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very sad

because you guys told every Jacko joke I knew.


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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 08:45 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warp Racer View Post
Micheal Jackson's ghost has been seen haunting childrens wards all over the world. It appears that even in death he will continue to try and put the willies up small children
OMFG I just about spat tea all over my computer ya bastid!!

Its really hard to take an angry man seriously when hes wearing a bathrobe. - Carl Fogarty
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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 08:51 AM
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I'll take it you liked that joke bud
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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 09:21 AM Thread Starter
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You could say that - I immediately forwarded it to a bunch of similarly twisted individuals...

Its really hard to take an angry man seriously when hes wearing a bathrobe. - Carl Fogarty
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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 09:58 AM
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really bad jacko joke read it with your discretion

Spoiler:
Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Caulkin spent the weekend with him

David
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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 12:27 PM
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I've got some in Text message I remember a few most were kinda dumb..


In order to commemorate Michael Jackson's Death McDonalds is naming a sandwich after him, it will be 50 year old meat in between 10yr old buns..


What does Michael Jackson and Clams Have in Common
Spoiler:
They both come on White Crackers




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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 01:26 PM
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Special sale at Wal-Mart in honor of MJ, all boys pants are 1/2 off.


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If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
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post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 06:11 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macattack View Post
really bad jacko joke read it with your discretion

Spoiler:
Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Caulkin spent the weekend with him
Badda Boom!
Nice one - and now in commemoration of MJ's greatest dance moves, a dancing white guy someone please put some bad gerry curls on this guy

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post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2009, 09:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yamahuh View Post
Badda Boom!
Nice one - and now in commemoration of MJ's greatest dance moves, a dancing white guy someone please put some bad gerry curls on this guy
I'll give it a shot tonight, but it's pretty tough to do


we can make it :mj



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post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-03-2009, 06:10 PM Thread Starter
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Q: What do Michael Jackson and Scotch whisky have in common ?
A: They both come in 12 yr olds

Its really hard to take an angry man seriously when hes wearing a bathrobe. - Carl Fogarty
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post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-04-2009, 07:53 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rinn View Post
In order to commemorate Michael Jackson's Death McDonalds is naming a sandwich after him, it will be 50 year old meat in between 10yr old buns..
Here's a picture of it

I hope that's a MILK moustache...
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 0616_jackson.jpg (15.1 KB, 0 views)

Its really hard to take an angry man seriously when hes wearing a bathrobe. - Carl Fogarty
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post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-05-2009, 10:12 PM
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poor MJ was born a poor black boy and died as a rich white woman.


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post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-06-2009, 04:38 AM
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Little Michael always wanted to look like Dianna Ross


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post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-07-2009, 04:47 AM
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MJ's estate is being contested by G I Joe and Barbie who have both submitted successful DNA samples, proving that they have identical skin.

I heard his death was caused by an allergic reaction to some 12 year old nuts.

Early reports say that he hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Culkin stayed over

there is no truth to the rumours that Madame Tussauds have been contacted by the Concert Promoters to lend there Exhibit of MJ to use as a Stand in

A Spokesperson said "our MJ Exhibit would melt under the stage lights"


so no change there then


I've heard it is to be a sea burial - at his request to be strapped to two buoys


What does has Micheal Jackson and Father Christmas in common ?
They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack
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post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-07-2009, 06:41 AM
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Great material. Burial at sea got the extra laugh from me
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post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-09-2009, 07:51 PM
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Michael Jackson's autopsy revealed his body covered in needle punctures.

I always new the fucker liked a lot of little pricks inside him.

or

I always new the fucker liked a little prick once in awhile
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post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-09-2009, 08:33 PM Thread Starter
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Ouch...

Its really hard to take an angry man seriously when hes wearing a bathrobe. - Carl Fogarty
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