Anything Goes Self explanatory forum name... (No NWS)

 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-14-2009, 04:42 AM Thread Starter
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Ham Sandwich & Mustard

I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers..

I love mustard.

I had no napkin..

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoe-shine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon..''




When you stop laughing, pass it on.


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ONCE YOU'VE HAD ASIAN, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH CAUCASIAN
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OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL ALWAYS OVERCOME YOUTH AND ENTHUSIASM
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-14-2009, 08:58 AM
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If i could freakin' read it i might ....

Its really hard to take an angry man seriously when hes wearing a bathrobe. - Carl Fogarty
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-14-2009, 09:33 AM Thread Starter
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Huh its just blue print on the forum default red?
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-14-2009, 10:34 AM
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highlight the text and it's legible.

HAIL TO THE KING!!

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-14-2009, 10:42 AM Thread Starter
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Sorry guys I'll be away from my computer for a couple of days. Just using my phone. Hell, copy it, change it and post it up in this thread.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-14-2009, 10:57 AM
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The new and improved joke, as requested.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers..

I love mustard.

I had no napkin..

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoe-shine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon..''

When you stop laughing, pass it on
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