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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 08:37 PM Thread Starter
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It's hard to understand Budha because

he needs to learn engrish better...



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.

8 ) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18 ) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that

quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the

plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people:

Recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at
all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS: Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?



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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 09:04 PM
 
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STOP IT!

MY VOCABULARY HURTS!



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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 09:06 PM
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 09:32 PM
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 09:34 PM
 
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Re: It's hard to understand Budha because

Quote:
Originally Posted by rinn
he needs to learn engrish better...



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.

8 ) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18 ) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that

quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the

plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people:

Recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at
all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS: Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?

:comperror ghead

damn bro...ya made my head hurt
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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it does the same for me... engrish is a fucked up language..



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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 10:43 PM
 
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-22-2005, 10:46 PM
 
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better yet this is still readable!
http://www.ababasoft.com/words/mix_letters.html

he needs to laern engirsh bteter



1) The abndage was wuond auornd the uownd

2) The farm was used to rpoduce rpoduce

3) The dump was so full that it had to reufse more uefrse

4) We must oplish the Ploish furuitnre

5) He uocld lead if he wuold get the lead out

6) The osldier ddcieed to sedert his edssert in the dseert

7) iSnce ehtre is no time like the rpesent he ohtught it was time
to persent the peesrnt

8 ) A bass was apinted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at the dove dove into the bsuhes

10) I did not boject to the boject

11) The inusrance was anvilid for the iavnlid

12) ehTre was a row omang the oamsren baout how to row

13) They were too olcse to the door to lcose it

14) The buck does ufnny nhitgs when the does are erpsent

15) A stamseress and a sweer fell down into a eswer line

16) To help with palnting the marfer tguaht his sow to sow

17) The wind was too sortng to wind the sail

18 ) Atfer a munber of injtceions my jaw got nmuber

19) Upon seeing the tear in the tainping I shed a tear

20) I had to eubjsct the suejbct to a ierses of setts

21) How can I inaimtte this to my most intmiate rfiend?

Lte's face it - Egnlish is a arczy ganluage ehTre is no egg in
eagplgnt nor ham in bamhurger; heitner apple nor pine in piaenpple
Engilsh fumfins rewen't inevnted in Eaglnnd or Frnech fires in
nraFce

Sweetmaets are cdnaies wihle saeetbrewds hwich arne't sewet are
meat We take Enilgsh for grnated But if we xeplore its rapadoxes
we find that

qukcisand can work slwoly boixng rnigs are qsuare and a nuigea pig
is nhiteer from iuGnea nor is it a pig

And why is it that wretirs irwte but nifgers nod't fing erocgrs
odn't orgce and hmmaers dno't ham? If the lpural of ootth is eetth
why nsi't the

pulral of oobth ebeth? One goose 2 eegse So one moose 2 eemse?
One idnex 2 icdines?

Dosen't it seem rcazy that you can make amneds but not one aemnd If
you have a nubch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them what do you call it?

If teachers taguht why nidd't paerchers puarght? If a aegetvrian
eats legetabves what does a rumanitahian eat?

Somteimes I tihnk all the Egnlish speakers ohsuld be cmmoitted to an
ysalum for the vbreally ansine In what lagnuage do epople

Reicte at a play and play at a teciral?

Ship by turck and send racgo by sihp?

Have nsoes that run and feet that smlel?

How can a slim cahnce and a fat cahnce be the same ihwle a wise man
and a wise guy are opptsioes?

You have to mavrel at the nuique luancy of a lungaage in wihch your
ohuse can burn up as it bruns down in wihch you fill in a form by
filling it out and in wihch an alarm goes off by iogng on

Engilsh was intenved by ppoele not ctmpuoers and it reflcets the
arectivity of the muhan race wihch of uocrse is not a race at
all That is why when the atsrs are out they are bisivle but when
the ilghts are out they are ibvisinle
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-23-2005, 12:38 AM
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:flip it feels like someones been :1poke my brain.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-23-2005, 04:19 AM
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oh yeah, that's the ticket

prejudices are what fools use for reason
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-23-2005, 05:53 AM
 
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I stopped reading it after the first few lines... :



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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-23-2005, 06:35 AM
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#18 doesn't work. No such thing as "number" it's 'more numb'.

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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-23-2005, 08:34 AM
 
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my engrish is fine, you outta hear my german tho..... :comperror
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